The Eggward Project
by ImprintMeJacob
Summary: "Class! The task is simple! You must protect this egg as if it is your child. I will be pairing you together with a member of the opposite gender and you will be required to look after this egg for a month." A/H, OOC. Rated M for language. Please read and review!
1. Eggsasperated

**A/N: Not much to say, but I hope you like this story!**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns The Twilight Saga.**

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"Class! The task is simple! You must protect this egg as if it is your child. I will be pairing you together with a member of the opposite gender and you will be required to look after this egg for a month."

ONE MONTH? I groaned inwardly. I hated the usual projects that Mr Rivers set for us, but this was taking the fucking piss. I really didn't want to be paired up with a horny teenager.

That's exactly what Forks High was. A prison full of horny teenagers. You'd think that girls would have some dignity, but no. They were as bad, if not worse, than the boys.

But no one could get worse than one boy in particular. Edward Cullen.

* * *

Edward used to be my best friend, a whole lifetime ago. But that was when we were both young and geeky, and in my case, incredibly stupid. I fell in love with him as soon as I laid eyes on him. It was in reception that we met, as our mothers accidentally collided both our buggies together. I ended up flat on my back, with a young boy lying across my stomach. It turned out to be Edward.

He has the most beautiful bronze hair and the most gorgeous eyes you will ever see. My problem was that I did too much of it. See, that is. From then on, we were inseparable, for what I thought would be forever. We did everything together, and I truly thought we would be the bestest of friends for life. But it seemed inevitable that Edward would move on up the social hierarchy and right to the very top, where he belonged.

Obviously we changed… Both physically and mentally from when we were kids. I had geeky glasses, braces and was stout. But Edward was a whole century of dog years ahead of me. Around about when we were 14 years old, Edward changed drastically. He shot up in height and lost some of his puppy fat. His features became more defined and sharper, and he moved with a certain grace. Don't get me wrong, he had always been handsome -even though I did go through the period of believing he had cooties- but there was something different about him. Unfortunately, everybody else around us became aware of this too.

Girls started to notice him straightaway. We couldn't get through the corridor without someone stopping him and commenting on his new appearance. They all looked at him hungrily and licked their lips in appreciation, giggling with their friends.

Boys started to notice him too… Only not in the same way. They noticed his wiry muscles and knew he had potential. That's when he joined the football team. And the soccer team. And the baseball team.

That's also when I lost him.

Edward as a jock came as a surprise to me. We had always agreed that jocks were overrated and only cared about stupid things. But it seemed that Edward now also loved these stupid things, along with his stupid friends. And it hurt like –excuse my French – a mother.

The real point in life when I realised that I would never get Edward back was when we were 15 years old. I was in the canteen, miserably sipping my flask of soup. I was sat with the unpopular crowd – my appearance of chubbiness and stumpiness and general geekiness, unlike Edward's, had unfortunately not run away. Nobody was really speaking. You might've heard the odd word being spoken but other than that, we were pretty much quiet. Then the popular crowd came over. Did I mention that Edward was a player? He'd been with every single girl in every single clique- and twice round with the cheerleaders. He was now going thrice round with them as I saw his group of cheering/screaming bitches walk towards me in their low-cut tops, too-short skirts, really high heels and lack of underwear.

"Jelly Belly! Look, guys, it's the lump o' lard!" Alice Brandon shook her head at me and her laughter tinkled like raindrops. I put my head down and tried to ignore them. I was used to insults from her, she hated me. I carried on drinking my soup.

"Hello, anyone home? Earth to Fat-Planet!" Her cronies laughed but I didn't look up or respond. I knew she'd get one more insult in and then leave. Maybe then I could drink my soup in peace.

"She's such a fat cow, ew. Hey, Edward! Come over here!" I froze as she said this. Even though Edward was the leader of the popular crowd, he never actually said anything to me. Sure, he laughed his laugh that sounded like wind chimes. Sure, he smirked. But he never said anything. I kept my eyes down on the table but couldn't fully relax my muscles. I heard footsteps beside me and knew that Edward was there.

"Eddie, look." I flinched- Edward hated that nickname. But he didn't say anything as Alice carried on. "She's just sat there drinking soup. As if she'll lose all that excess weight if that's all she ever eats! El oh el, tee hee!" I mentally rolled my eyes. She was such an idiot.

"Hmm, yeah." I froze up again as I heard Edward's voice.

"Eddie, Lard-Ass tells me that you invited her to the party on Saturday. Well, did you? Huh?" I knew that Alice was trying to prompt him to say something, but I knew he wouldn't.

Clearly I knew nothing.

"As if I'd ever invite this beached whale. Look at her, she has more rolls than a bakery." My eyes shot up to look at him. I was sure my mouth was wide open in disbelief, and Alice confirmed that.

"You're lettin' the flies in. Shut your mouth! Then again, I bet you just wanna eat them anyway, you pig." I couldn't believe that he'd actually said something. Edward snorted and walked away, Alice and her laughing cronies following. I didn't take my eyes off of him until he walked out the canteen. I could feel tears pricking my eyes. He might as well have stabbed me in the heart.

I stood up and walked out, straight to the bus stop. Who cares about school anyway. And it wasn't until I got home that I let the tears, which had been threatening to escape since Edward had insulted me, fall.

* * *

"CLASS, settle down now!" Mr Rivers shouted. It seemed like I wasn't the only one who thought that this was a ridiculous idea. Everyone cried out in protest when Mr Rivers offered his idea. I let out a long sigh and shook my head. I could only imagine who I'd be paired up… Probably Stinky Stuart, who wore his gym clothes for gym and normal lessons. Ew. Or maybe Blaine, who was about as intelligent as a bicycle wheel. Oh, God.

"Alright!" Mr Rivers said as everyone quietened, "I will call out both names and I want both of you to come up to the front and choose your egg. Here we go," Mr Rivers pulled out a piece of paper and put his reading glasses on.

"Firstly we have Emmett McCarthy and Rosalie Hale! Come to the front, you two." Emmett and Rosalie? That was a perfect pair- Rosalie was the Queen Bee and Emmett was the King Wasp.

"Benjamin Chaney and Angela Weber!" Angela was one of the unpopular crowd and Ben was slowly edging towards the unpopular crowd since he was the shortest jock ever. Oh, well. Maybe Ange could give him lessons on being a loser.

"Okay, Michael Newton and Lauren Mallory, come on up here!" Hah. Mr Rivers was on it- Mike Newton was a creep and Lauren was a creep. Another perfect match.

And so they continued, and fewer boys and girls remained. Jasper Whitlock with Alice Brandon, Tyler Crowley with Jessica Stanley, Eric Yorkie with Jane Seymour (Yes, that was her real name)… When Stuart and Blaine were chosen, I breathed out a slight sigh of relief. And then,

"Ah. Okay. I'd now like to call to the front Edward Cullen and… Hmm." Mr Rivers squinted at the piece of paper. I rolled my eyes. Whoever's name was coming up next was the unluckiest person alive. Hah. Sucks to be them at the moment, I thought dryly. "Right! Edward Cullen and Isabella Swan!" I sat very still. I stared numbly at Mr Rivers as the information sunk in. No. Freaking. Way.

"WHAT?" It seemed the news had just about sunk in for Edward too. I turned around to look at him. "There is no fuckin' way that I am going to work with her!" He jabbed his finger towards me and looked at me in disgust. I faced forward and blinked back tears. Well. I didn't want to work with him either.

"As much as I hate to agree with him, Edward is correct. I can't work with him, sir!" Mr Rivers shook his head.

"Isabella," He always said everyone's full name, and I shuddered. I hated being called Isabella. "You have to learn to work together sometime. And now is the perfect chance… NO QUESTIONS!" He shouted and I jumped a foot in the air. I opened my mouth to protest but closed it sharpish and Mr Rivers narrowed his evil eyes at me. Ugh. I actually hated him. "I'll say it once again then; Edward Cullen and Isabella Swan, please come up here!"

We stood up and looked at each other. He had an expression of pure hatred and loathing, and I was pretty sure my expression matched his. He put his hand out in front of him as if to let me pass first. I put my nose in the air and marched on forward. Before we reached the front, Edward whispered,

"Don't try any funny business, bitch. We are working together purely because we have to. Get it, you fat turd?"

I turned around to face him and looked him in the eyes. Oh, his eyes. His green, gorgeous, beautiful eyes. I cleared my throat and mentally told myself to concentrate. I leaned upward towards his ear and said,

"I'll try nothing, you prick. Try not to fall behind in this; I don't want my perfect grades to slip up because of the vainest, cockiest and dumbest asshole I've ever had the misfortune of setting my eyes on." Clearly, he wasn't expecting my comeback. His eyebrows lifted in shock and his eyes widened. I walked towards Mr Rivers without looking back at him, and smirked to myself.

_Oh, it is game on, bitch._

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**Ooh. I wonder what's gonna happen...**

**Please review and let me know what you thought of it. I'll try and update the next chapter as soon as possible.**

**Thanks for reading!**

**ImprintMeJacob xox**


	2. Non-Eggsistent

**A/N: Well! After one day I got a few very nice reviews! Thanks a lot to all you guys who read and reviewed this! **

**Since I got such positive feedback I'm gonna continue with it. Hope you enjoy it.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, I am just using her characters.**

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**Last chapter recap:**

**Before we reached the front, Edward whispered,**

**"Don't try any funny business, bitch. We are working together purely because we have to. Get it, you fat turd?"**

**I turned around to face him and looked him in the eyes. Oh, his eyes. His green, gorgeous, beautiful eyes. I cleared my throat and mentally told myself to concentrate. I leaned upward towards his ear and said,**

**"I'll try nothing, you prick. Try not to fall behind in this; I don't want my perfect grades to slip up because of the vainest, cockiest and dumbest asshole I've ever had the misfortune of setting my eyes on." Clearly, he wasn't expecting my comeback. His eyebrows lifted in shock and his eyes widened. I walked towards Mr Rivers without looking back at him, and smirked to myself.**

**_Oh, it is game on, bitch._**

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Bella POV

Edward was standing behind me, breathing hard as he recovered from my comeback. I looked at Mr Rivers and he said,

"Right then, Edward and Isabella." I flinched but didn't look away. "Pick an egg, any egg." He chuckled. I half-smiled at how funny he was trying to be funny even though he wasn't funny at all. How funny.

"Um." I looked at all the eggs on the table. Big eggs, small eggs, smelly eggs, fragrant eggs and those normal eggy eggs. But I didn't want normal. I wanted an egg that described my relationship with Edward, even though it was non-existent. I wanted an egg that symbolised what had been before the Jerk changed. My eyes swept over the table and landed on an egg that was perfect. It was small and sat right at the back in the far corner. This somehow reminded me of Edward before he changed. Sweet. Cute. Shy. And innocent. Very innocent. I looked up at Mr Rivers again and pointed to my egg. "I want this one."

"Hang on a sec." The Jerk came to stand right next to me. Damn it. I'd forgotten all about Edward. "What about my input? It is _our_ child after all." He grinned evilly at me and continued "I want this one." I looked down to the egg he was pointing at and nearly barfed. It was huge, monstrous, compared to my egg! I squinted at it and dipped my head closer. Yuck. And it stank too. Bleurgh. Had he always been this much of a first-class Jerk?

"No, sir, we want this one. That egg… It's not right for us." Mr Rivers raised his eyebrows and looked between Edward and I. "You'll have to decide on one together, and quickly, kiddos. Come on," I huffed and stuck my finger out at my egg. Edward mirrored my actions and pointed to his egg. I glared at the Jerk. The Jerk glared at me. It was the best hate story ever, I thought dryly.

"Eddie," I sneered and was majorly glad to see that he winced and his face crumpled "Why do you want that egg? This one," I pointed to my baby, "Is perfect." Edward's lips turned up in a slight smile.

"Well, my egg," He said "Looks like _you_." My mouth opened and I suddenly understood. It was a fat egg, the sort of egg nobody chose unless they wanted a rather large breakfast. I swallowed and said,

"Screw you. Mr Rivers," I turned to face him "We want this egg. And that's final. Edward likes this one too- or he can lump it." I whispered the last part so only the Jerk could hear me, and picked my egg up carefully and cupped it in my hands. Then I turned around to walk back to my seat. I could see Edward shake his head slightly from the corner of my eye. I felt bad that I'd ever said I hated Mr Rivers. Maybe this project would be fun after all.

* * *

Before we ended class, Mr Rivers gave us the basic details of what we had to do. Look after the egg for a month and try as hard as we could to keep it from smashing. We had to feed it, dress it, bathe it, change it (this included nappies), burp it, comb it, cuddle it, teach it, sit with it, sleep with it (this didn't included actually _sleeping_ with it, as Mr Rivers so nicely clarified) and basically look after it.

Well. I was 100% sure that Mr Rivers had a screw or two or three or four loose. But I always had loved a challenge. And sir told us that the grade would count towards our final year and would equate to 4 credits. 4 CREDITS JUST FOR LOOKING AFTER AN EGG. How hard could it be?

I soon learned that it would be the hardest thing I had ever done in my entire life.

Challenges.

I detested them.

Edward, it seemed, also detested them. We were told to sit in our pairs from now on so we could look after our egg starting in class. Edward had kicked up a huge fuss about sitting next to me and gave an impassioned speech about his fear of fat people- or fatophobia, as he called it. Did it hurt? Hell to the yeah. Did I let him know that it hurt? Hell to the fucking no. I scoffed at everything he said and was very careful not to give any of my real feelings away. After a few stern words from Mr Rivers and getting absolutely no response from me, Edward huffed and sat down next to me, even if it was as far away as he possible could without climbing out the window.

Mr Rivers then gave us a huge diary in which we had to write down our general thoughts over the month, talking about what we did, how we did it, where we did it, and how we felt doing it. Everyone giggled at Mr Rivers saying 'did it' every time. It was so immature and disgusting, especially when our teacher left the room for a while and Edward winked at Lauren Mallory, asking,

"Hey, Laure! You up for it?" Lauren tittered and nodded, trying to be seductive. For God's sake. She looked like a freaking retard.

"But Eddie, won't Jelly Belly next to you get jealous?" I kept my head down, not wanting to know what Edward was gonna reply. I knew it'd hurt like hell.

"Nah. Well, maybe. As if I give a fuck what the bitch thinks though, she doesn't own me. Anyway it isn't like I can get it on with her! She'd squash me in bed!" Ouch. So much for hurt like hell- it was worse than that. I bowed my head down further to avoid showing everyone how much of a beetroot I resembled. Stupid blush.

"N'awww, is baby Bella embarrassed?" Edward spoke in a high-pitched voice. "Don't be, it isn't the sex that you need to worry about… You won't ever get to that base in life, let alone first base. Your sex life- no, your TOUCH life will be pretty much non-existent" Everyone chortled at this and Edward stood up and took a bow. At this point, Mr Rivers walked back in and everyone hushed. I sunk down further in my seat, hoping I would just disappear. Yet it seemed like all had been forgotten.

_Except by me._

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**Ouch. Isn't Edward rude?! I wonder what's gonna happen next...**

**I got a huge load of notifications telling me that people had favourited and followed but only a few reviews in comparison. Please review, even if it's a single word to let me know if you liked/disliked it. **

**I'll try and update as soon as I can.**

**Thanks for reading!**

**ImprintMeJacob xox**


	3. Eggscluded

**A/N: I got a few more reviews last chapter, so thanks to you all! Keep going, guys! *cheers***

**This is a slightly longer chapter that the last few, so please don't get bored and leave it halfway! Pretty please?**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all. Since I am not Stephenie Meyer, I do not own Twilight.**

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**Last chapter recap:**

**"Hey, Laure! You up for it?" Lauren tittered and nodded, trying to be seductive. For God's sake. She looked like a freaking retard.**

**"But Eddie, won't Jelly Belly next to you get jealous?" I kept my head down, not wanting to know what Edward was gonna reply. I knew it'd hurt like hell.**

**"Nah. Well, maybe. As if I give a fuck what the bitch thinks though, she doesn't own me. Anyway it isn't like I can get it on with her! She'd squash me in bed!" Ouch. So much for hurt like hell- it was worse than that. I bowed my head down further to avoid showing everyone how much of a beetroot I resembled. Stupid blush.**

**"N'awww, is baby Bella embarrassed?" Edward spoke in a high-pitched voice. "Don't be, it isn't the sex that you need to worry about… You won't ever get to that base in life, let alone first base. Your sex life- no, your TOUCH life will be pretty much non-existent" Everyone chortled at this and Edward stood up and took a bow. At this point, Mr Rivers walked back in and everyone hushed. I sunk down further in my seat, hoping I would just disappear. Yet it seemed like all had been forgotten.**

**_Except by me_**

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Bella POV

"Char- I mean dad, it's not my choice whether to move in with the Cullen's for a month or not. I have to! How else do I look after our egg?" I exclaimed. "It's not like Edward would take care of it..." I muttered under my breath. Edward really didn't want to take part in this project. After we'd gotten our eggs and been dismissed from class, he hadn't spoken to me until the end of the day.

"Swan." He had said "Listen, I really need a good grade in this fucking project. The only way we'll get one is if we work together. So... So, basically, I'm gonna have to move in with you."

I hadn't really been paying full attention to what he was saying while drinking my juice, but I sprayed my mouthful out. "WHAT? Move in with me? Why?!"

He sighed. "Fine. You move in with me. For God's sake..." He ran his fingers through his hair- a nervous habit. "It's easier for us to look after the egg if we're both with it 24/7, right?" I gave him a look of haughty derision. "Jeez, Swan. It's not like I fucking _want _you in my house, you know?" Youch.

I nodded. "I get your point, Cullen. Fine. Let's do this. Shall we start today?"

"No, let's wait for the hospital to burn down(!)" His sarcasm was so great, I nearly laughed. And hell yeah what I thought was sarcasm. Jerk.

"I'll be over by 5. I need to get back home, explain to my parents and then pack. You take the egg back home now, and I'll help later?" It sounded more like a question as I waited for Edward to answer.

"Whatever." He rolled his eyes and walked over to Lauren, who then stuck her tongue down his throat. I'd nearly barfed in my own mouth.

Afterwards, I had come straight home and called out for Charlie, but then realised that he wasn't home. The empty driveway should've been a clue- Charlie's police cruiser was always parked out front when he was home. Renee must've been out painting or modelling clay or something.

I had started packing, getting the essentials ready- toiletries, underwear, pyjamas, t-shirts, sweats, pants and my hoodies. I wondered for a while whether I'd need to bring food- I was 100% sure Edward's family wouldn't let me starve but I couldn't say the same for Edward.

Another thing that I thought- well, worried- about a lot was Edward's family. I hadn't seen them since Edward stopped talking to me. It'd been a while. What would they say? His parents- Carlisle and Esme- had always been the kindest people to me, like my second parents. Edward's brothers- Emmett and Jasper- were beyond hilarious. Especially Emmett, with whom I concocted many a prank. And lastly, Edward's sister, Rosalie. She was a goddess incarnate. Her flawless skin, blonde hair and perfectness was so, well, perfect that it pained to look at her too.

In conclusion, his family were perfect.

I was sat on my bed gnawing my hangnail off while deciding what to do next when my mother walked in. She stopped short and looked around the room and then at me and the bag I was clutching while frantically biting my nail off. "Bella, are you going somewhere?"

She wiped her hands on her smock (so she _had_ been modelling clay) and sat down next to me. I explained all about the project and she nodded along, sympathising with me. "Don't worry," She'd said "The only person who's changed is Edward. Esme and Carlisle love you!" I grimaced. Too bad their stupid son didn't.

My mom didn't mind me moving in with Jerk-face. But she did know that Charlie would.

"Listen, Bella," My dad said "I have no problem with it unless this gets, you know, _physical_." I snorted loudly and then covered my mouth while Charlie looked at me as if I was deranged.

"Seriously, dad. There is not a chance in hell that this is gonna get physical in the way you mean. Really. Edward hates me." My voice cracked right at the end, but Charlie either didn't notice or pretended to ignore me. I think it was the latter.

"Well, alrighty then. Since it is for a project and you've promised not to have sex with him," I winced when he said that "Look after yourself. No falling down the stairs or over your own feet, okay?" I nodded and grabbed my packed bag.

"I'll see you later, Charlie." And then I shouted "BYE MOM! LOVE YOU GUYS."

And that was that.

* * *

I rang the doorbell nervously at exactly 5PM. I felt like a nervous wreck- and I _was_ a nervous wreck. I'd sat in my truck for half an hour before I could edge off the driveway back home and drive to Edward's place.

The door opened. It was Esme... With a totally blank expression on her face. "Hi, can I help yo- BELLA? Bella Swan?!" Her eyes widened and I'm sure mine did too.

"Yes", I squeaked.

"Oh, Bella!" Esme leaned forward and swept me into her arms. "Bella, I haven't seen you in years!"

Clearly Jerk-face hadn't told her what had happened. But then why would he? I bet he forgot about me as soon as he got home- hang on, I bet he never remembered me at school, let alone home.

Esme beamed. "Come in, dear! I had no idea you were stopping by or I would've baked some..." She noticed my bag and her eyes narrowed. "You're having a sleepover with Edward?"

I flinched so hard it must've looked like I had a tic.

"No- not exactly, ma'am. Edward and I, we're doing a project together for school. We have to look after an egg..." I explained it all.

"Call me Esme, dear, you're practically family! And, I see. Nevertheless, you could've given me some notice! Then I would've baked your favourite cookies, peanut butter and...?" She prompted. I broke into a delighted smile. "Peanut butter and extra chocolate chip cookies with strawberry ice cream!" I couldn't stop grinning but mentally scolded myself. I didn't know why I'd been so nervous after all!

"Swan?" I looked over Esme's shoulder and remembered exactly why I'd been so nervous after all. I was sharing a house- possible a room- with the guy I loved, who coincidentally hated me. Hah. Oh joy, oh joy, oh joy.

Edward brushed his hand through his hair and then shoved both hands into his pockets.

I stepped forward as Esme moved aside and nodded at him.

"Mom, Swa- I mean Bella- is staying here for a few weeks," Try a month, I thought sourly.

"Yes, dear, Bella has just filled me in about your project. So. You can both go on up and start working now. I'll shout when dinner's ready, okay?" Esme looked at Edward who nodded, and then at me. I mirrored his actions and smiled at Esme.

Edward rushed up the stairs and I made to follow him when, "EDWARD! Come back down here and take Bella's bag upstairs! I thought I raised a gentleman!" She looked at me and smiled in apology. I opened my mouth and replied,

"No, really, Mrs Cullen, I've got it." I made my way forward to the foot of the stairs but Esme stopped me.

"Dear, call me Esme, I've said! And nonsense, don't be silly, Edward has it." Jerk-face came stomping down the stairs and faked a smile at me in front of his mom. Asshole.

"Follow me, Bella!" He sounded so fake, I wanted to roll my eyes. I turned around and thanked Esme before gingerly taking a step up.

As I got to the top, I looked around. I knew exactly where Edward's room was, obviously, but I didn't know what to do. I stood outside and waited a second before knocking.

"Come in." Edward called out. I gulped one last time and walked in.

His room hadn't changed at all. He had the same band posters up as he had the last time I'd walked into his room and all his furniture was exactly how I remembered. I was about to look at Edward when something caught my eye. It was a little message carved onto the wood of the thinnest part on his purpley, bluey, greeny door. It read,

_Bella Swan [heart sign] Edward Cullen._  
_Best Friends Forever and Ever and Ever and Ever and Ever and Ever and Ever and Ever and Ever and Ever._

My jaw dropped open. I'd written this when we were kids, in year 2. Before I could say or think of anything else, Edward scoffed.

"I tried to cover that crap up, but I couldn't find the same coloured paint as the door. Shame, really. I've wanted to erase that bullshit since... Since forever really." My face fell slightly but I masked it quickly. Ouch, dammit.

I scoffed under my breath too, to make it look like I didn't want it there either. I looked up and saw that Edward was watching me. Again with the awkward silence, then.

"So... What do we do now?" I pulled on the sleeves of my hoodie and stood awkwardly by the door.

"Well, for starters, we need to decide where we're gonna put you." He pointed at me. "I reckon you'd fit on the couch to be honest." He eyed it and then said "Maybe not." I blushed furiously and bit my lip.

"Nah, you'll fit. Lemme just get some sheets and pillows for you, hang on." He stood up from his bed and walked over. I moved out the way to let him pass, holding my breath as I did. When he was outside, I sighed. How was I gonna do this for a month?

"Oh, and Swan?" He walked back in and leaned against the doorjamb. "You can sit down on the couch, if you want..." Then he was gone.

I shakily moved over to the couch with my bag and sat down carefully. Before Edward came back in, I was just breathing deeply to calm myself down.

"Here are those sheets and a few pillows. Do what you want with them, we'll probably chuck them when you leave. Haha. And maybe the couch too. After all, it'll be fat-fected." He smirked at his own joke of mixing the words 'fat' and 'infected' to make 'fatfected'. Jeez. Original, much?

I rolled my eyes and drummed my fingers on the couch softly. All hail the awkward silence, I thought.

Edward had his hands in his pockets again and said, "Okay, so I'll leave you here. Don't touch anything, don't do anything, just stay on that side of the room and don't get off the couch. If you need to use the bathroom, use the one on the landing, not the ensuite." He pointed towards another door in his room. I would usually use that one, but clearly not now. That was a whole parallel universe.

I nodded slowly and looked at him. He narrowed his mindblowing eyes and said,

"You don't talk much, do ya? Fat Pat the cat got your tongue?" He chuckled and shook his head, walking out the door. It was then, and only then, that the waterworks started.

* * *

Dinner was lovely... If you didn't count Edward excluding me from the conversation or making fat/loser/social outcast jokes, Emmett making jokes about Edward and I having sex, Rosalie rolling her eyes so much I thought she had some kind of twitch, Jasper talking about nothing but the civil war, and Esme and Carlisle shooting daggers at Edward's mannerism and glances of apology at me.

I ate the chicken salad and sweet potato fries slowly- I didn't really want to be in the same room as Edward, alone, in any time soon. When I'd finished, Edward looked up and said, "Finally. Sweet Jesus, you eat _tons_." I flinched and didn't bother to cover it. I hadn't actually eaten a lot, taking no second helping even though I could've devoured the entire serving plate- it was that good.

"Edward! Apologise at once!" Carlisle bellowed. I looked over to him and said, "It's fine, seriously, I'm okay."

Edward scoffed and got up from his seat. He muttered under his breath, "You're not so back-talkin' away from school are you? Stupid bitch." The whole table heard and Esme opened her mouth to say something but I just cleared my throat and said, "Excuse me."

Pushing my way past Jerk-face, I went upstairs to the toilet. I knelt down next to it and tried to hold back my tears. I felt so sick. But just in case I did barf, I didn't want the whole house to hear me. So I turned on the power-shower and waited.

And waited, and waited, for around 5 minutes. Just as I thought I wasn't gonna vomit, I glanced back at the toilet I'd just gotten up next to from.

Then I stuck my finger down my throat.

It felt good. It felt really good. Not the taste, of course, but the feeling that I was getting rid of everything I'd eaten today.

Once I'd finished, I got out my toiletries bag that I'd placed in the bathroom before dinner and brushed my teeth. I changed into my pj's and decided to call it a night. It must've been around 8PM.

I peeked around the door to see if Edward was in his room, but thankfully he wasn't. I got into my makeshift bed and sighed. Weirdly, I felt full. I also felt embarrassed and upset and angry and, oh, did I mention embarrassed. Edward's whole family probably thought I was a creep.

I sighed again and rolled over onto my right side, with my hand tucked under my head. I looked over at Edward's bed and blinked back tears.

"Goodnight, Edward. I love you." I whispered into the darkness.

And just before I fell into a deep slumber, I had a not-so-random thought.

_Where the heck was our fucking egg?_

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**Sooo. Drop me a review to let me know what you thought of _quiet Bella_ in this chapter. I really hope you enjoyed it!**

**I'll try and update soon.**

**Thanks for reading!**

**-ImprintMeJacob xox**


	4. Eggshausted

**Sorry for taking slightly longer with this chapter, RL is mental right now.**

**Just to clarify a few things: Firstly, yes, I want to make Bella bulimic. I'm hoping to expand that separately at some point in the future. Secondly, Edward WILL come around! Of course he will, even though he is the World's Biggest Nappy-Rash at the moment. Don't despair, it'll all work out... Trust me!**

**Thanks to whoever complimented the chapter names! I like them too. ;)**

**Hope you enjoy this!**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns The Twilight Saga.**

* * *

"Bella, are you okay?" I looked up at Rosalie over my bowl of cereal. It had been three days since the start of our project and three days since Edward had spoken to me.

When I woke up on the second day, Edward was still fast asleep. He looked so cute in his t-shirt and boxers, sprawled out on the bed. His mouth was open slightly and now and again, soft snores would escape. What really made sure that I didn't look away was his innocent face- there was no sarcastic smirk and his eyebrows were smooth, like he didn't have a worry in the world. I had sighed and shaken my head slightly. I needed to remember that Edward was not innocent anymore and what he said to me would probably really hurt. I carefully got off my makeshift bed and went to take a shower.

When I was just starting on my breakfast, Edward ran down the stairs yawning. I looked up and saw that he was wearing a tan sweater and skinny jeans. He caught my eye and frowned. I swiftly looked back at the strawberry jam slathered onto my toast.

"So you're still here then?" Was all he said.

And that was it, if you didn't count 'ok', 'right' and 'um'.

I quickly recovered from the memories of the second day at the Cullen residence and rushed to answer Rosalie.

"Yes, I am fine." I smiled at her and continued, "Why do you ask?"

"Well, my idiot brother has barely looked at you, let alone spoken to you." I grimaced. If Rosalie, who if I can recall correctly, was not very observant I could only imagine what Esme would be thinking - she saw everything. And I mean _everything_. Crap. She must've known that I was in love with her moronic son. I left drool puddles on the fucking lino every time someone mentioned his name, let alone when he walked into the actual room.

"Rose- I mean Rosalie-" Edward had mentioned when I got here that I was not to address his siblings or parents by their nicknames or first names because I wasn't a friend and was only here for the egg. "It doesn't matter whether or not he talks to me. As long as we get this dumb project over and done with, I'm fine. We aren't friends, so I don't even care if he says nada." Hah. I was bullshitting myself. I cared too much, that was my problem.

I continued, "Speaking of the egg, I better go and get him. See you later." I saw Rosalie's confused expression when I said 'egg' and then 'him', but ignored it. I waved at her and took my cereal bowl to the sink, rinsing it and placing it in the dishwasher. I walked upstairs slowly and stopped outside the bathroom. I felt so sick.

After... Well, let's just call me throwing my guts up by making myself sick on purpose 'my business', I made my way over to Edward's bedroom and paused with my hand on the doorknob. My stomach felt strangely light yet bloated. I looked down at my shoes and I bit my lip. He was inside, I was sure of it. Did I just walk in or knock first?

I went with the latter and waited for some sort of response.

"Yeah?" I flinched, took a deep breath, closed my eyes briefly, and entered.

"Uh. Hi. Sorry to disturb you, I was just wondering if I could get the egg."

"Yeah, there." He pointed towards the makeshift cot I had made.

I walked over to the cot and looked inside. Our egg was wrapped in a blue wool blanket. I cooed at it and said stupidly without thinking, "Hello, Eggward. You okay?"

Edward, who had been sat on his bed on his phone, promptly fell off.

"EGGWARD?!" He shouted, whilst still sat in an awkward position on the floor.

I visibly cringed. I hadn't meant to say my nickname for the egg out loud. Oh God. Jerk-face was gonna kill me.

"I meant... I mean... Ugh. I'm sorry. I just named it, okay? It's no big deal." I shrugged my shoulders casually but peeked at Edward from the corner of my eye. He looked like he's been recently hit on the head with a hammer. Was he okay?

"Ed.. Edward?" I turned to face him fully. And that's when he did it.

He laughed.

Let me just repeat that.

He fucking _laughed_.

I stood over the crib, with 'Eggward' in my hands, looking over at Edward. My mouth must've dropped to the floor. Edward. Anthony. Masen. Cullen. Was. Laughing.

I half-scoffed, half-laughed with him. "What's so funny?"

Edward took a few moments to compose himself, then cracked a smile. A crooked smile. _My_smile.

"Only you, Bella, would come up with that. I mean, Eggward? Really?" He chuckled to himself.

I blushed. It had felt like old times when he said that.

"Yeah, well, it's fitting... I mean the pun works, right?" I looked away from his eyes at my shoes in case he noticed my lie. I'd named him Eggward because he'd reminded me of Edward when we were best friends a long time ago.

"It is fitting. Should I say thanks or is that the wrong sentiment?"

I blushed a deeper shade of red. "No, thanks it fine. Thanks for saying thanks. You're welcome."

He grinned at me and cocked his head to the side. "I'm just gonna roll with this and say thanks for replying with thanks to my thanks and you're welcome for saying thanks and then you're welcome." He stood up and walked towards me, with his phone still in his hand. I involuntarily took a step back. Edward came to stand half a meter before me. By this point, I was 50 shades of red.

"You're welcome?" I didn't know what to say.

Edward laughed again and looked at the egg resting in the palms of my hands. "Hello, Eggward. I'm your dad. I'm sorry for your stupid name, it was your mom." He tickled the egg.

My mouth gaped. Dad? Mom? Eh, what?

While he was still tickling the egg, his fingers brushed my palm. I recoiled as if I'd been electric-shocked. What the hell was that?

Edward seemed to feel it too, since he looked up at me in confusion. After a few seconds of just looking into each others eyes, he recovered and the colour of his eyes darkened. Ahh. That was never a good sign. He looked back down at the egg and said, "I've also got some sad news. Or really exciting and happy news, it all depends on how you see it. Your mom and I have divorced. We were never in love in the first place, our parents arranged the marriage. That's right, I didn't love your mom. Ever. Sorry, son. And dude? Your mom got hella fat when we were married. Remind me never to date a morbidly obese chick, okay?" Edward picked up 'his son' and walked over to his bed. "I think Eggward needs feeding, Mr Rivers texted us."

With Jerk-face's back finally turned towards me, my face fell and I wiped the salty water away from the corners of my eyes.

* * *

Looking after Eggward was exhausting. Remind me never to have a child in the future. Even though this was an egg and didn't actually need to use the toilet or feed or bathe, we had to make sure we did everything by the book. Mr Rivers would randomly text our phones with 'FOOD TIME' or 'WAAHH I'M TIRED' or 'GIMME A BATH', etc, as if he was the egg/baby. If we didn't read the message and reply back with a picture of us feeding/burping/bathing the egg, he would ring our phones. Sounds okay, right? Well it wasn't. We had to have our phones on loud, and Mr Rivers programmed a horrible screeching noise as the ringtone. Sadist.

Taking those stupid pictures and waking up at all times during the night was horrible. But to be honest, I was the only one who ever really got up. Nearing the end of the first week, we'd put Eggward to bed and were sleeping ourselves. I slept with my phone under my pillow so I would hear it loud and clearly when it chimed with a text message. I really didn't want to get to the point where it started to screech. It'd probably wake the entire household up.

So when my phone started to buzz and chime, I woke up, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. I read the message and it said 'I'M HUNGRY AND THEN I WANT TO USE THE TOILET AND THEN I WANT TO BE BURPED WAAHH. FINALLY I NEED TO BE PUT TO SLEEP. WAAHH." For God's sake, Mr Rivers was impossible. He'd never given this many instructions at the same time. I rolled my eyes and went to take care of Eggward. But I needed Edward to take the pictures and help me. So halfway towards the cot, I did a hairpin swerve and went towards Edward's bed.

"Edward, wake up." I whispered. He groaned slightly but didn't respond. "Edward," I said slightly louder than the last time. He didn't answer me. I sighed. "Edward, get up!" This time he did respond. "Fuck off, asshole." And with that, he flung his arm in the air.

That wouldn't have been a problem... If his hand hadn't connected with my eye. I gasped loudly and stumbled backwards. I had to admit, even in his sleep, Edward had a nasty right hook. I pressed down on my eye and couldn't help the tears that leaked out. Shit, that had really hurt.

I didn't want to bother waking Edward up now so I went over to Eggward and tried as hard as possible to finish the tasks quickly. I took 3 selfies- praying that the black eye hadn't already formed- and sent them to Mr Rivers, hoping that that would satisfy him.

Once I had finished, I went over to the sofa and sat down. My eye felt like it was catching fire and really burned. I would definitely have a bruise tomorrow. I lay down and tried to fall asleep again, but a week of broken sleep meant that I now found it impossible. I checked the time on my phone and it read 2AM. I sighed to myself and closed my eyes.

But then I heard Edward mumbling in his sleep. I frowned, trying to make out the words but it was near impossible. I tried to block it out but he started to get louder.

And he also started to get clearer.

I could hear him saying 'no, please don't' and 'I beg you, don't leave, not now, please!' I shifted and sat up straight on my fake bed, looking over at Edward. His face was scrunched up in pain and I couldn't help but gasp. It looked like something was really hurting him. I literally jumped off the sofa and ran towards him. I slowly put my hand on his forehead and his eyebrows straightened out. His face was smooth again. I whispered, "It was just a nightmare, Edward, a horrible nightmare. Go to sleep, you're okay." I ran my hand lightly over his head again and again. His breathing evened out. I smiled at this. Edward looked like the innocent boy I used to be friends with again. Oh, how I missed him! I tried to pry my hands away from his head but I couldn't. Instead, I ran my fingers through his hair. He sighed at the touch and I instantly froze but he mumbled, "Don't leave me, please. Stay. Please."

As if I could ever refuse him anything. If he told me to jump off a cliff, I would. So I continued combing his silky soft hair with my fingers for a while longer, never looking away from his face.

I started to feel drowsy, so I stopped what I was doing and got off Edward's bed. I gingerly tiptoed back to the sofa but something stopped me. I would probably never have this chance again, so did I risk it or not?

Oh, screw it, I thought to myself. I'd risk it.

I went back to Edward's bed and looked down at his sleeping figure. I traced his features with my finger, his eyebrows, his eyes, his nose, his cheekbones, his jawline and lastly his lips. My hand moved to rest against his cheek, and he leaned into my palm. Now here was my conflict again. Did I, or didn't I?

I decided to go for it. Saying a silent prayer in my head, I leaned down and pressed my lips to Edward's cheek, lingering for a few seconds. Then making sure Edward was still sleeping, I whispered, "I love you."

* * *

**Eek! What was Bella thinking, and more importantly, what was Edward dreaming about?**

**Well, you might just find out in the next chapter. I was thinking about letting you in on Edward's POV...**

**For all the Tributes out there, I hope you noticed and smiled/fangirled at the subtle 'Catching Fire' references. I know I did when I wrote them. *squeals***

**Drop me a review on your way out, please! And thanks for reading!**

**ImprintMeJacob xox**


	5. Eggstreme

**As promised by yours truly, I am now giving you your very own Edward Cullen for Christmas!**

**...**

**Well, his point of view, at least.**

** I really hope you like it! I know you'll probably think it's far-fetched- I know I definitely do- but give it chance, lovelies. It'll all work out. *hums sweet sweet lullabies***

**Shoutout to Victoria (I haven't called you that in years!) because you're cool and you put up with my nonsense dancing like there's no tomorrow. ;) Much love.**

**Disclaimer: SM owns The Twilight Saga**

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**Last chapter recap:**

**Bella POV**

**I started to feel drowsy, so I stopped what I was doing and got off Edward's bed. I gingerly tiptoed back to the sofa but something stopped me. I would probably never have this chance again, so did I risk it or not?**

**Oh, screw it, I thought to myself. I'd risk it.**

**I went back to Edward's bed and looked down at his sleeping figure. I traced his features with my finger, his eyebrows, his eyes, his nose, his cheekbones, his jawline and lastly his lips. My hand moved to rest against his cheek, and he leaned into my palm. Now here was my conflict again. Did I, or didn't I?**

**I decided to go for it. Saying a silent prayer in my head, I leaned down and pressed my lips to Edward's cheek, lingering for a few seconds. Then making sure Edward was still sleeping, I whispered, _"I love you."_**

* * *

**Edward POV**

Christ. I missed her. I fucking missed her. And I couldn't do anything about it; I needed to act as if I didn't care about her. My reputation at school was everything to me, and I needed to be popular. I needed it. That was also the reason why I acted up in school, why I pretended to be the biggest pimp around even though I hated the slutty girls- well, all girls to be honest- at our school.

All except one girl. Isabella Marie Swan. My Bella. We used to be the best of friends before I became popular. One of the conditions for being able to talk to the popular crowd was to cut all contact with the unpopular crowd. Alice had said that that included Bella. I was shocked- how could I forget Bella? I'd been in love with her for years and years, ever since I met her when I landed on her stomach during a collision of our prams. But if pretending to hate her was what it took to be popular, I'd have to. It's not as if Bella would ever have loved me back, so I decided to go for it. You probably think I'm absolutely ridiculous and really extreme- you'd be right. But what you fail to understand is that it's a dog-eat-dog world out there. I need to mark my place in this flop of a town. I need to get out of Forks. Every year, you'll only ever see one person who leaves this town and makes something of themselves. And when the time comes, I want that person to be me. Portraying my feelings to Bella would only hinder me from my dreams.

Insulting her hurt me too, but I was forced to. The first time I actually said something horrific to her face, she had looked at me with an expression of such hurt and pain, I had nearly moaned and swept her into my arms, wanting to never let go. I could see her eyes glazing over as if she was going to start crying, so I just snorted and walked away while the stupid cheerleading bitches followed me. Even if it looked as if I cared about Bella- which I truly did- I'd have to answer to everyone else. So I insulted her and teased her and make fun of her along with the other popular people.

* * *

When Mr Rivers decided this stupid project, I was torn. I really wanted to be with Bella and spend time with her as I hadn't even been alone with her since I ditched her, but then I also knew that I needed to keep my popularity. I was extremely shocked when she answered back to me when we went to get our egg, and I was sure everyone could see how surprised I was. So I had to put it up a notch and decided the 'ugly egg' scenario. Hah. I was really pushing it here. As if I could ever call Bella ugly. She was beautiful, her long and curly brown locks of hair cascaded down her back and shoulders like a waterfall, her big, chocolate-coloured eyes that looked like they could look deep into anyone's eyes, her strawberry lips, her body curving in all the right places... She wasn't fat, or obese, or any of the fuckery I described her with to her face or behind her back. She was perfect in every way and I'd always thought so.

What really showed everyone that I 'hated' Bella was when Mr Rivers mentioned 'did it' and every immature person decided to titter at this. I seized the opportunity to prove to everyone that I 100% did hate Isabella Marie Swan. I spoke about her sex life, or non-existent sex life as I so nicely corrected myself. That's when I knew I had really overstepped the line. Her gorgeous eyes showed so much pain but I held my ground.

Like I said, I was torn. So I decided to meet myself halfway and blurted out that I wanted to stay at her house. She looked offended at the very idea. When I suggested my house, she only seemed slightly happier.

I realised my mistake when she got here. It would be impossible to try and hate her when I loved her, especially when I would be living with her for a month. I pinched the bridge of my nose when I heard her talking to my mom downstairs. I'd need to be hella careful if I wanted this to work out. I tried to act as hateful as possible, right the way through her noticing the carving on my door. I hadn't gotten rid of the scratched message because I couldn't bear it, not because of the stupid color; we had the exact same pot of paint in our garage.

When I came up to sleep that night, Bella was curled up into a ball on the couch. I shuddered visibly when I realised how uncomfortable it must have been for her. Right before I fell asleep, I reached out my hand as if I could touch Bella's face and mouthed 'I love you'.

* * *

The next day, I was sat on my bed checking my text messages from Mr Rivers and Jasper when Bella walked in. I tried to act very casual but kept looking at her from the corner of my eye. When she murmured 'Eggward', I couldn't control myself and totally lost it. I couldn't stop laughing. I remember her shocked expression as I lost it, and the feeling that shot through me when I accidentally touched her hand. It seemed to snap me awake because I realised that we couldn't be friends… Not anymore, anyway.

That night, I had the worst nightmare ever. I was walking through a meadow and Alice Brandon was trying to get my attention. But I just wanted to look at the sunset. So when she tried to pull my arm and kiss me, I jerked it away and said, 'fuck off, asshole' right to her face, trying to get rid of her. She disappeared and as I watched the blood red and orange colors dribble down the horizon, I saw a silhouette of my perfect girl. Before I could even reach dream-Bella, she flounced off. She ran swiftly and darted in and out of the forest like a deer. I chased after her, begging and pleading with her not to leave me. Eventually, I lost track of her and stopped in the woods. Before I could call out her name, I felt a hand cover my eyes and forehead. Immediately, I stopped worrying about everything and relaxed. Dream-Bella whispered lovely things to me and tugged at my hair. I felt all limp and sighed deeply. When I did that, I felt her draw away from me but I asked her to stay. We sat down in the woods together, Bella still behind me. And the last thing I remembered before I fell asleep were those three beautiful words that ended each and every one of my daily dreams.

Bella turned me around to face her, kissed my face softly and whispered, 'I love you'.

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**Aha! So Edward _does_ love Bella! (I bet you all saw this coming; I'm so creepin' predictable.)**

**The best Christmas present would be Sam Claflin, Josh Hutcherson and Jennifer Lawrence. But since I'm not getting them, *sobs uncontrollably* I'd like to request that you review, even if it is a single word.**

**Thanks for reading and MERRY CHRISTMAS! :D**

**ImprintMeJacob xox**


	6. Eggsercise

**_HAPPY NEW YEAR !_ **

**I hope you had a great time celebrating the start of this year. I honestly cannot believe we're at 2014. It's kinda scary.**

**This chapter is dedicated, once again, to Posh. I hope you see the little 'message' I left halfway through this chapter- it's a play on your real name. Much love, dude.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight**

* * *

I was getting thinner; I could feel it. My sweats- which once fit comfortable on my hips- now slipped down unless I tied them as tight as possible. Even then, I could feel them snaking down towards the top of my buttcrack every time I moved. I stood in front of the mirror in Edward's room (he was downstairs 'feeding' Eggward) and gingerly placed my hand over my uncovered stomach. I had definitely lost weight from all the daily vomiting. Thankfully nobody had actually heard me retching out my insides after dinner- not after any other meals as I usually just drank a glass of orange juice for breakfast and skipped lunch. And if Esme was around, I'd pretend to eat in front of her while giving Eggward his food too.

Edward? He just acted… Normal. The day after he had his nightmare, he just acted normal. He didn't make hurtful comments, he didn't ignore me… It was like he felt kinda sorry for me. I had to admit, I was pleased that he wasn't being rude but I really wanted to just sit down and talk to him like the old days. In fact, I often zoned out and imagined all these cute scenarios where Edward actually spoke to me and was my friend. But to be fair, he was acting like a friend. Not besties or anything, but he'd wait for me, he'd answer my questions… It was great. While thinking about all this, I failed to hear the thump on the stairs, indicating that somebody was coming up. So when Edward bounded into his bedroom, I was still stood before the mirror with one hand on my stomach and the other hand pulling the strings of my sweats as tight as they could go. Edward's eyes widened considerably and his mouth opened and closed like a fish. I simultaneously let go of the strings around my waist and pulled my top down. I looked down at my feet and pretended to fix my hair. Edward walked over and stood beside me. He joked,

"I don't suppose you're coming down any time soon to feed Eggward, are you? Gosh, leave me with all the work, eh?" He laughed nervously, and I could tell he still found it awkward that he'd walked in on me. I turned to face him and watched him wince. Oh God, not again. I rolled my eyes.

"Are you seriously gonna flinch every time you see my bruised eye? Because you know I'm a klutz, I walk into doors all the time!" I reached up to touch my eye and stopped myself from wincing. It didn't hurt per se but it was still tender. I also hadn't mentioned that he was the one who subconsciously gave me a black eye because that would've raised all sorts of questions, the main being Edward asking 'what the fuck were you doing by my bed in the night?' I continued, "Anyway, it wasn't your fault, so get over it. It's been like 4 days since it happened, I would've thought you'd have gotten over seeing it all the time." I rolled my eyes again for good measure. Edward opened his mouth and then closed it. His muscular shoulders in his wifebeater lifted up and then dropped. He turned around and went back downstairs.

I followed him and sat at the kitchen table, but not before tickling Eggward on his 'chin'. I could tell that Edward had 'fed' him because there was a faint stain of strawberry jam on him; I licked my thumb and wiped it off. Esme and Emmett greeted me (good morning, sweetie vs. howdy partner?) and Rose smiled while I went to pour myself a glass of fruit juice. Edward just looked at me and raised a perfect eyebrow, which was when I realised how forward I had just been- since my week and few days at the Cullen residence, I'd always behaved like a complete stranger. But I'd totally forgotten that these weren't the old days where I could waltz into Edward's house and take a cookie or two or three from the cookie jar, even though he was acting civil towards me. The jug in my hand trembled slightly so I placed it back on its mat and leant back in my seat. Crap.

"No, no, dear! Go ahead and pour yourself some juice, this is your house now!" I smiled at that, and couldn't help but imagine it _really_ being my house, where I lived with my husband, his siblings and his parents. My grin deepened. Edward just gave me a puzzled look. I stopped smiling and looked down at my empty plate. Things were going just great for me today, just _great_.

Esme shuffled closer to me and put some pancakes on my plate. She dished them out to Edward and his brother but I pushed the plate toward Rose before her mom could get to her.

"Oh, I'm not hungry, Esme. But thank you very much anyway. I'm sure they taste as good as they used to." Edward's hand, which had frozen over the maple syrup as soon I started to speak, unfroze and drizzled syrup all over his six pancakes. Then he proceeded to stare at me curiously. I looked away. I couldn't deal with the green eyes that were the forest of Eden at that moment.

"Isabella Marie Swan." Now it was my turn to freeze. I looked up at Esme and she looked positively murderous. "I cannot believe for a second that you are not hungry- I have barely seen you eat this past week. You must have breakfast; I am not letting you leave until you eat _at least_ two pancakes. The topping may be of your choice." The kids around me seemed to freeze too. I just mumbled something about breakfast making me sick as it was too early in the morning. Then Edward did something that really surprised me. He leant over the counter, took my original plate back from Rose (who shouted 'hey!') and placed it in front of me. He gestured as to which topping I wanted so I fixedly stared at the maple syrup. With an expert flair, he undid the nozzle and drenched my pancakes with the sweetness that is maple syrup. I picked up my fork and within three minutes, I had demolished everything. While chewing on my last bite, I saw Edward and Esme exchange a glance. Edward lifted his eyebrows slightly. Esme smiled, nodded and pulled out the drawer behind her. She flung him the keys to her son's stupid, shiny Volvo. Edward gathered all of our plates, put them in the sink and kissed his mom on the cheek. He whispered something in her ear and she smiled again and nodded. Huh. What was all that about? It looked like Esme had refused Edward his precious car unless he did something for her. I wonder what it was about…

I shook my head and picked up the piece of scrunched up paper that had hit my head while I'd been thinking about the mother-and-son-exchange. I smoothed out the paper.

**ROSHIA'S AMAZING TRAVELLING FAIR**

**Presale tickets 50% off**

**May 13th thru August 31st**

**Olavora Street**

**at Main and Second**

**Rides . Games . Food . Fun . Entertainment . Circus**

And in Edward's handwriting, right at the bottom of the page, he'd written 'Mr Rivers wants us to get some exercise and fresh air with Eggward'. A ghost smile hinted along the corners of my lips- he'd actually written Eggward. My insides warmed up.

"You coming or what?" Edward was leaning against the door to the hallway. I blushed because I'd been staring at one part of the paper for a long time- I'll give you one guess where.

"Yeah… Um, who else is going?"

"Well, you, Rose, Em and I are going to meet Tyler, Jasper, Alice, Jessica, Jane and Lauren there." My heart sunk. If they were gonna be present, Edward would revert back to his arrogant and cocky self.

"Right. Um, actually, I think I might be busy…" I trailed off because Edward raised his eyebrows so high they were in danger of disappearing into his hairline. I sighed audibly and nodded.

"Fine, I'll come. Just don't expect me to be all friendly with your buddies. They hate me as is." Edward's eyes narrowed.

"They do not hate you. Maybe they just think you're too much of a goody-two-shoes sometimes and need to relax. And settle back on the geeky thing."

"Do _you_ think I'm a goody-two-shoes geek as well?" I'd spoken without thinking and blushed furiously. What a stupid question- of course he thought that. Edward didn't answer and walked to the newel post where all the coats were hung. He picked up a hoodie and put it on over his wifebeater. I took hold of Eggward and tried not to squish him. Edward handed me my coat without saying anything.

"Thank you," I muttered. Putting Eggward on one of the stairs, I put my coat on, grabbed my swing bag and picked up Eggward and his little wool hat that Esme had knitted for him. He just shook his head and walked out the door, keys in hand, leaving me confused as hell.

* * *

"Eddie, my bae!" Lauren ran forward and flung her arms around Edward's neck. He lifted her off the floor enthusiastically and kissed her full on the lips. That's right, ladies and gents. Man-whore Edward Cullen was back. I mentally rolled my eyes and loosened my grip on Eggward. I really didn't want to break him and have Edward hate me for that too. Edward and Lauren disentangled themselves from each other, as did the others. I stood awkwardly way behind Edward. What the hell was a 'bae' anyway?

"So guys, I've got Bella here." Edward whispered to the others. It seemed like he didn't actually want me to hear his conversation. Too bad for him, I had super-sonic hearing.

"Bella? Dafuq is that?" Tyler asked. (Yes, he actually said 'dafuq', idiot boy.) Edward sighed.

"You know! Bella Swan… In our psychology class…?"

"Oh, right, Isabella! The fat chick… Where is she then?" Edward turned around and gestured for me to come closer. I kept Eggward held out in front of me and trudged along.

"Wowzah." Tyler looked at me like he was looking at me for the first time ever. Then he addressed Edward, "I thought Bella was fat?! Dafuq are her rolls?" I cringed visibly and looked up at everyone's eyes looking at my body. I shuffled on the spot, feeling really awkward while everyone undressed me with their eyes.

"Don't be stupid, Ty. The rolls are there, under her coat. Come on, you prude, strip. We wanna laugh at your flab. Loving the black eye, bitch… Eddie, did you knock her out? Admit it, I just want to give you some flowers. Well done, bae." She giggled and looked around at everyone but they didn't laugh. I winced and cleared my throat and Edward's eyes moved from my body to my eyes. He flushed. I kept shuffling. Had I mentioned how awkward this was?

"Fuck off, Alice. Come on guys, I want some cotton candy," Edward dragged his friends in front of him and towards a stand. I opened my mouth to thank him.

"You're welcome. Alice is a bitch. Ignore her- I do most of the time." He shrugged and smiled softly. My grin was so wide, it actually hurt. Edward had defended me! And in front of his friends! He really was changing back to my Edward.

We all got cotton candy except for Lauren and Alice; "Are you fucking kidding me? Cotton candy? All that sugar? Bitch, please. I don't want to end up like Isabella." Alice sneered. I grit my teeth and tried to ignore her, but this time it didn't help. Edward must have noticed the change on my face so lifted an arm to grab me but I dodged it and said,

"Excuse me, I'll be right back." I located the toilets according to the maps and waited until there was no one present. I placed Eggward on the sink counter and puked out my breakfast and the cotton candy I'd just eaten.

Once I'd finished, I was kinda annoyed because my mouth stank and I had no toothpaste since we weren't at Edward's. I stuck my hand in my coat and grabbed a Jolly Rancher. I silently thanked God for my father- he believed that you should always have candy in your pockets because you never knew when you'd get hungry or low on sugar. I popped two of the sweeties in my mouth and took Eggward outside.

My mouth still felt a bit weird so I went over to a coffee stand that was called Coffee with Clary. Incidentally, this was where Edward and his cronies were all waiting.

"I'll have a salted caramel mocha frappuccino. Grande." The red-headed lady- I assumed it was Clary- looked at Lauren like she had two heads, four noses and ten lips.

"Excuse me? We only do lattés, hot chocolate and fruit juice. This isn't Starbucks, honey."

"It fucking should be. For fuck's sake, can a girl not get a decent drink around here?!" She sneered at Clary. I walked over and tried to order before Lauren could piss her off anymore.

"Hi, could I get a hot chocolate please?" Clary smiled at me and asked if I wanted whip cream. I shook my head and waited for her to get my order, taking my money out of my purse to keep in hand. Edward's posse continued arguing about something.

"Let me hold Eggward while you do that." Edward gently took the egg out of my hand and I smiled gratefully while searching for my purse.

"Here you go, honey. That's two dollars, please." I put one finger up as I tried to locate my purse. Where was it?

"I've got it, don't worry," Edward gave the money a few dollars and smiled at her. She beamed back and replied,

"Such a sweet boyfriend, getting his girl a drink. Ah, young love." I was shocked and opened my mouth to correct her. But she'd already walked to the back of the stand and sat down, book in hand. I turned red and slowly rotated to face Edward. He didn't say anything… But was that a hint of a smile at his lips? It couldn't be… Or was it? Before I could say anything, he said,

"Come on guys, what shall we do now?"

"Eddie, I want to go and win one of those prizes at that stall!" The wench pointed her claw (sorry, finger) at the stall where you try and hook a duck. Then whatever number the duck has on its bottom, you win a prize from that selection. I scoffed. What a stupid, fixed game. But everybody agreed to go so I got ready to follow them. Wait… Not _everyone_.

"Ugh, Laure. Nobody ever wins anything on those things. They're all fixed. You'll spend five dollars and all you'll win is a toy unicorn," Edward rolled his eyes. "I refuse to watch this happen." And with that, he walked off back towards the direction of the various food stalls, Eggward in hand. Well. I wasn't hanging around to find out what exactly it was that Lauren was gonna win. Or lose, in terms of money. So I yelled out,

"Hey, Edward! Wait up!" I ran through the crowd of little children with their parents and pairs of elderly couples. I got to Edward slightly panting- he had longer legs ergo he could walk a great distance in a little time. Damn. He'd stopped at a stall called Crazy's Pretzel Place. At least the names of these stalls were eye-catching, I thought sarcastically.

"Edward!" I put my hand on his arm, coming to his side.

"And what exactly do you want?" Even the stallholder- maybe his name was Crazy- looked up at that, because Edward had said the words so coldly.

"I don't want to waste my time watching Lauren attempt to win something stupid." Crazy went off to get Edward's order of sweet and salty pretzels.

"Well, you can't spend your time here with me. Why don't you go on a ride or something?" Jeez, what was up with him?

"But you have Eggward, and we have to look after him." Edward just shook his head and drummed impatiently on the counter. Crazy looked back and his lips set in a hard line. Edward stopped immediately, which was wise. Let's just say that the stallholder's name truly suited his appearance.

"We don't have to look after him together, I can do it just fine. You don't have to stalk me, you know." I huffed at him.

"But what… What happens if a weirdo sicko pervert tries to molest me and you aren't there to save the mother of your precious Eggward? Le gasp! Shock! Horror!" I tried to look seriously afraid but I knew I was smiling quite a bit.

Edward scoffed. "Bella. Listen to me carefully." He leaned in a stopped a few inches away from my face. I stopped breathing and looked him straight in the eyes. "Even a _pervert_ wouldn't be interested in touching _you_. Not that I'd even care if they did actually touch you."

My face fell. Wow. That was dejection at its peak. I felt my heart being snipped into little ribbons of muscle. I truly was the most stupid person on the planet. As if Edward had changed back to how he used to be- that was impossible! He was clearly Major Asshole and Sergeant Dickhead and he always would be. Just thinking that he could've changed told me how dumb I was- I seriously had shit for brains. Edward rose up but there was a sliver of something in his eyes…. Guilt? He opened his mouth and said,

"Look, Bella, I-" I cut him off because I didn't want to hear anything else that was gonna hurt my feelings. I didn't wait to find out what he said but rambled,

"Ouch. This cup of coffee is really hot." I put the lukewarm cup down on the counter, shook my hand as if I'd burned it and continued, "Could I get some napkins, please?" My eyes were starting to sting. I brought my hand up and swept the hair behind my ear and neck around, letting it settle as a curtain between Edward and I. I didn't want him to see my teary eyes. Crazy came back with a stack of napkins and handed them to me, smiling sympathetically. He went back to his worktop and picked up the box of pretzel sticks.

"Five dollars, please." The stallholder had heard our entire conversation so he kept glancing over at me. I ignored him and kept the curtain of hair between Edward and I, looking down. I hastily wrapped some napkins around the cup and picked it up.

"They're probably looking for us." And with that, I turned around and walked towards the win-a-prize stall as quickly as possible.

And just before I could agree with my inner thoughts that nothing else could happen right now that would be more painful than what had just happened, I felt my sweatpants slip down so low that I felt a breeze down below.

For the second time today, I thanked God. This time though, I thanked God for giving me the common sense to wear a coat today.

Amen.

* * *

**Well. Please don't throw your shoes at Edward! Granted, he does deserve it but once we get to it, I'll explain what the above was all about... Probably in Edward's POV.**

**'Tis ma burfday in 2 days! So please try and review with a lovely (or nasty, whatever) comment about this chapter. That'd be a great present.**

**Speaking of presents, Santa kinda got mine stuck in the chimney- yep, that's correct, Sam, Josh and Jen are in my chimney. Wow. That sounds great when I say it out loud.**

**If there are any The Mortal Instruments Shadowhunters here... I hope you appreciate my little Clary reference. :)**

**Thanks for reading and good luck for this year!**

**ImprintMeJacob xox**


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